Monday, September 29, 2008

The Tale of the Half-Mast Pants.

Most Saturday mornings, I get up & trudge across the road & meet my friends Jenny & Di at the Local Faux-Organic Food Market. We buy skim lattes from the 'Toby's Estate' coffee stall & then sit down & look at everyone.
There's usually a reasonable variety of people to look at.
Tragic Drag Queens still up from the night before, homeless people, brisk, well-groomed 'empty nester' couples, gay guys buying fresh flowers & fresh trout, local eccentrics & loads of v. pampered dogs. Oh, & a lot of people who look like Graphic Designers.  Potts Point has the highest number of Graphic Designers per capita in Australia.
Usually our conversation v. quickly turns to What Women are Wearing. On Saturday, we noticed  large numbers of Half-Mast Pants. You know what I mean - pants that finish way above the ankle, possibly on the Shin. 
All kinds of women were sporting this look in a variety of different pants - track pants, jeans, white pants, black pants, but perhaps not cargo pants. They seem to be Over for now.
I am a complete Pants Innocent. I know absolutely nothing about them as I haven't worn pants in decades. The last time I owned a pair of jeans was in 1981. 
I turned my nose up at pants because I was annoyed that I had short stumpy legs & not long leggy legs like Cher.
And my mother liked to make unfortunate comparisons between the appearance of my bum in jeans & an elephant's bum.
"Your bum looks like Jessie the Elephant in those jeans"
"Shut up Mum. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?"
"If I don't tell you, no one else will"
"Thank God they won't"
Mum finally won. And I haven't regretted it. Je ne regrette rien. 
So pants don't really exist in My Wardrobe Universe. But for Jenny & Di, pants are their Best Wardrobe Friends. They know everything there is to know about them. Di pointed out to me that the problem with Half-Mast Pants was that they cut off women's legs & make them look like short stumps. 
Here's Di & her Feet in the photos above. You can see that there's nothing short & stump- like about her. In the first photo, she's channelling Kate Moss, which is something that I'd never think to do. She's got a three-button white tee shirt that is from the Kate Moss collection for London's 'Top Shop'. The country & western plaid shirt & fisherman's cap also have vague echos of Dear Kate. 
But the thing I just love is Di's toenails. I know they look black, but their supposed to be v. dark blue. The brand is O.P.I. & the shade is called 'Light my Sapphire'. Next time I go to 'USA Nails', I'm going to get that colour but with white strips at the top like in a French manicure. 
Can't wait!


see you there! said...

We used to call thos pants "Floods" when I was a kid. I don't think even meant to be higher Capri's (or whatever they are called nowdays) are all that flattering. I admit to wearing them occasionally tho as I don't wear shorts. (Shudder!)


Della Street Dreaming said...

Quelle Horreur!
The thought of myself in shorts is truly horrifying, Darla, although I did look good in them when they were called 'hot pants'. Do you remember them? I think it was in 1971