From the Vault

My School Computer has over 4000 photos on it. And I must delete some. The Computer Dept has been bleating on about not having enough Storage Space & as usual I haven't been listening. I'm still not really listening.

But I've spent most of the day deleting & arranging & editing. Here's a few of my Absolute Favourites that I have  no intention of deleting.

1. Joan Crawford. 

Joan managed to turn her shoulders into a couple of Sturdy Bricks that support the rest of her with ease. She looks Aeronautically Engineered. 

But I don't care, I still love her. My favourite Joan film is 'Mildred Pierce'. It's got everything - a Weak Husband,  a Murderous Daughter, a  saintly daughter who dies, an Unprincipled Mustachioed Cad, a Sleazy Ugly Other Man & of course my favourite Second String Actress, Eve Arden. What more could you want?

2. Ethel Merman. A while back I seriously thought that I was Becoming Ethel Merman. Fortunately, it was a False Alarm.

 I have a favourite Ethel story that may or may not be true. Here it is. It involves the use of an unsightly swear word which describes part of the female anatomy. I won't actually say the word.

Ethel was married v. unhappily for about six weeks to another favourite actor of mine, Ernest Borgnine. One day, she had a meeting with a powerful musical producer with the view of starring in one of his upcoming productions. After the meeting, she came home & Ernie disinterestedly asked her how it went.

'Oh, he just raved about my singing, my acting, my great legs & youthful face!' Ethel gushed.

'What did he say about your sixty year old c---?' asked Ernie.

'He never mentioned you, dear' replied Ethel.

3. Doris Day & Multi-coloured Poodles.

When I was young, I thought that Doris was far too much of an annoying goody-goody to admire. But now I'm old I can see through the goody-goodiness & just love her. 

But what a Sad Life. All she wanted was The Loving Husband & the White Picket Fence. 

And what did she get? Undying Adulation from millions of perfect strangers, Nasty Husbands & a son who died.  I can't believe that Poor Doris is still alive.