Thursday, November 13, 2008

From the Vault

My School Computer has over 4000 photos on it. And I must delete some. The Computer Dept has been bleating on about not having enough Storage Space & as usual I haven't been listening. I'm still not really listening.

But I've spent most of the day deleting & arranging & editing. Here's a few of my Absolute Favourites that I have  no intention of deleting.
1. Joan Crawford. 
Joan managed to turn her shoulders into a couple of Sturdy Bricks that support the rest of her with ease. She looks Aeronautically Engineered. 
But I don't care, I still love her. My favourite Joan film is 'Mildred Pierce'. It's got everything - a Weak Husband,  a Murderous Daughter, a  saintly daughter who dies, an Unprincipled Mustachioed Cad, a Sleazy Ugly Other Man & of course my favourite Second String Actress, Eve Arden. What more could you want?

2. Ethel Merman. A while back I seriously thought that I was Becoming Ethel Merman. Fortunately, it was a False Alarm.
 I have a favourite Ethel story that may or may not be true. Here it is. It involves the use of an unsightly swear word which describes part of the female anatomy. I won't actually say the word.
Ethel was married v. unhappily for about six weeks to another favourite actor of mine, Ernest Borgnine. One day, she had a meeting with a powerful musical producer with the view of starring in one of his upcoming productions. After the meeting, she came home & Ernie disinterestedly asked her how it went.
'Oh, he just raved about my singing, my acting, my great legs & youthful face!' Ethel gushed.
'What did he say about your sixty year old c---?' asked Ernie.
'He never mentioned you, dear' replied Ethel.

3. Doris Day & Multi-coloured Poodles.
When I was young, I thought that Doris was far too much of an annoying goody-goody to admire. But now I'm old I can see through the goody-goodiness & just love her. 
But what a Sad Life. All she wanted was The Loving Husband & the White Picket Fence. 
And what did she get? Undying Adulation from millions of perfect strangers, Nasty Husbands & a son who died.  I can't believe that Poor Doris is still alive.


Janet said...

Love the Vault photos. The Ethel & Ernest story is priceless, whether true or not.Doris was a big fave of mine as a kid- it is amazing to think that she is still alive. There has been talk of a honorary Oscar for years.

see you there! said...

I always avoid Ethel, here screech level does something to my eardrums. That's a funny story tho.


Sheila said...

That Ethel story is hilarious.

I dressed up as Joan (from "Mommie Dearest") for Hallowe'en a few years back: velvet robe (with huge shoulderpads), satin pajamas, turban with brooch, can of Comet, a toothbrush and a wire hanger. I won a prize.