I know I look like I've gone mad in these photos.
And maybe I have.
But over the past few days I've been infected via The Mainstream Media with the idea of becoming 'Internet Famous'.
I'm now Officially Desperate to become a 'Fameball', a blogger who, by Relentlessly Oversharing the banal & inane details of their daily life, permeates their way into The Collective Consciousness rather like an Earworm, which is a song that you can't get out of your head even if you hate it.
'Julia Allison', picture above is the Biggest Fameball of Them All Right Now, with the accent on the 'right now' because according to this article I read in The Sydney Morning Herald, you're only as Hot as your Last Blog entry.
Golly Gosh, I'm going to be chained to the computer all Summer!
'Julia Allison' (not her real name) immediately attracted my attention because of her superficial similarity to Charlotte York in SATC, who I love in as much as you can love a Fictional Character. So I tracked down her blog/lifecast/personal manifesto, nonsociety.com.
And to be honest, I couldn't follow it. I don't mean to be too self-deprecating, but sometimes it takes me ages to work things out. Like it took me an hour to realise that you didn't scroll down her blog, but ACROSS. And then when I started reading , I couldn't understand it. It was kind of like the time I tried to read Virginia Woolf's, 'Mrs Dalloway' aloud to my Senior Class & they just sat there blankly staring me.
I really should go back & try reading it again, Julia's blog I mean, not 'Mrs Dalloway', although maybe I could read both together - One blog entry - One page of 'Mrs Dalloway', One Entry, One page & so on...................
How's that for a Novel Post-Modern New Media Reading Experience?
But Back to Me.
I was deliberately trying to Channel 'Julia Allison' in the first photo. But I think I channelled 'Julia's' grandmother instead, who is the Lady above with the Racehorses on her Chest. 'Julia' posted a whole rivetting blog entry about having lunch with Grandma which really proves that she's really just A Sweet Normal Girl. Or Something.
Now I'm starting to sound like a Caustic Bitch. I must stop.
But before I do, I wanted to point out why I was kicking Ernestina in the staffroom. It's not because I find her annoying. I was just using Her Butt as a vehicle to show off my Freshly-Thrifted extremely pointy shoes. I realise that they are a Far Cry from 'Julia's' fashionable round toe patent pumps, but I'm Nothing if Not Unfashionable.
If you enlarge the photo where I'm channelling Julia's Grandmother, I would like you to Note Four Things:
1. The Animal Print Thrifted Dress on it's first outing with me. I plan to wear this on saturday night when I have another 'Date' with Mr. Ex-Middleaged.
2. My homemade 'Dora the Explorer' necklace.
3. My matching oatmeal & faux gold cuffs. Talk about Faux Glamour!
4. The little nylon sockettes that peep out of my Ridiculously Pointy shoes. My colleague Goldie says that they are v. unsightly. I bet ol' 'Julia' wouldn't dream of wearing them!