Thursday, February 12, 2009

I Surrender to Being a Hideous Old Crone

It's been six months since Mr Ex-Middleaged left. Note I didn't say that it's been six months since I've been 'dumped'.  No, no, no. That word is never going to cross my lips again, unless its to say something like, 'I'll just dump my bag in the corner'. 
In fact, I'm sure there's some readers out there who don't even remember Mr. Ex-Middleaged. And a good thing that is too.
Six months is somewhat of a millstone, oops...I mean milestone. 
And I've got another Milestone coming up. 
Ah yes, my birthday is in a month. Usually at about this time, I begin to be aware of a Slight Queasiness which morphs into Full-Blown Fear & Panic by the time The Big Day rolls around. I blame three things for this reaction:
 1. Some hateful trace memory in my consciousness about being born & then being immediately taken away from my Birth Mother.
 2.  When, on my fifth birthday in Kindergarten I cried (probably due to the Trace Memory), The Odious Nun, Sister Rosalia said 'If you cry on your birthday, You cry the whole year'. What Life Skills those Gentle Sisters gave me!
 3. Fear, dread & panic about getting old.

So, to celebrate my Fear of Getting Old, I thought I'd show you a Denim Skirt that is available at the English brand, Marks & Spencer's website. It's part of their 'Old & Frumpy' range. The site even includes a breathless testimonial from an excited middleagedwoman who signed herself 'frumpymama', saying that wearing the skirt, which incidentally has a slight swing to it, made her feel 'ten years younger & desperate to dance.' I was desperate to puke



I would never be caught dead wearing anything like that skirt. Unless, of course it was $3 at my favourite thrift shop, 'Beatniks & Bohemians'. But as I truly loathe Denim (except on my daughter), I probably wouldn't buy it even if it was fifty cents. 
So, you'll never see a smidgen of denim in any of my Wardrobe Pictures. Look closely at the snaps below, taken by my Boho Artist pal Maud at a Graffiti Graveyard in Sydney's Newtown. It's a completely Denim -Free Zone. 
And thanks to the wonderful 'Soft Skin' setting on my camera, I manage to look fairly youthful. And not in a Faye Dunaway kind of way.
 Talking of Ageing, I must quote from Simon Doonan, whose style book, 'Eccentric Glamour' I got for Xmas  & I've never mentioned it since, even though I kind of loved it. Simon is an English guy who's expertise dressing the windows of 'Barney's department store in NYC has made him into one of the World's Biggest Style Gurus. In the chapter, 'Becoming Cher', Simon  tells it like it is : "We humans are all doomed to wrinkle, wither, & die.......accepting the inevitability of your physical decay... will allow you to enjoy life & to revel in the eccentric glamour of every waking moment."
Simon urges us to reconcile ourselves to the fact that we will 'eventually & inevitably, morph into a hideous old crone'.
You know what, Simon, not only am I going to reconcile myself to becoming a crone, I'm going to Surrender to It!



4 comments:

janavi said...

My birthday is Mar.22nd, and I'm also getting that queasy feeling. Surrendering is a somewhat appealing option, but don't think it would help me at work. Will have to keep fighting cronedom for a while longer.
I don't wear denim either!
Lorimarsha has a recent post about women dressing appropriately that sparked some interesting conversation.

Della Street Dreaming said...

So you just missed out being a Piscean! I must check out Lorimarsha's post as I've followed her photostream since I began with flickr. thanks Janavi

see you there! said...

I've fully embraced cronedom - I'm at the age when you are just happy to wake up in the morning.

I do try to keep a sense of humor and style tho.

Darla

Sheila said...

I'm charging right into crone, with a few years hanging at diva and maven first, though. Does this mean we can be cronies? Haha!

I think you look amazing - although I don't know how old you are. Your inner youthfulness comes through.