Wednesday, June 11, 2008

'At three a.m, it's always the Dark Night of the Soul'



Last night I woke at 2.23 am. Although I laid there with my eyes shut for another four hours, that was basically IT for the night.
Since reaching a Magical Certain Age, I've had many nights like last night.
By now I've learnt not to get too panicky about it, but I must agree with, was it, F. Scott Fitzgerald who said something like 'At three a.m. it's always The Dark Night of the Soul.' I defy anyone to be truly able to think wonderful, exciting, uplifting thoughts at that time of night unless perhaps you were getting married the next day or you're the Dalai Lama or something.
Early this morning, Mr. Middleaged arrived back home from London. He hadn't slept for thirty hours or more because the sleeping pill he took didn't work so he was awake for the entire twenty-four hour flight. Then he went to work.
So did I. Things were going quite well until I caught a glimpse of myself in a particularly unflattering mirror in our staff room. You know how some mirrors regularly show you up as being Years Older than you feel that you truly should look? I was horrified. I'm blaming my aged appearance on Lack of Sleep.
Then I came home & went to this Women on the Web Website that I've started looking at. It's full of Well Known Show Ponies like columnist Liz Smith & Whoopi Goldberg & writer, Joan Juliet Buck looking all glam & talking really serious stuff about Hilary Clinton & other worthy issues rather than Style & celebrity gossip. It's supposed to appeal to Women with Substance. Personally, I find reading about some Mrs Nobody's visit to the Dental Hygienist more interesting & insightful.
One of the 'stars' of the site is an old fave of mine, Candice Bergen. I loved the fact that when she was growing up her 'brother' was her father's ventriloquist's doll. And I loved her as a young girl in 'The Group' & that film with Jack Nicholson that I now can't remember the name. See what lack of sleep does? And I loved her as middle aged 'Murphy Brown'.
Candice is some years older than me. But you wouldn't think that if you compared the two of us in the photos above. While she doesn't exactly look young, it's more that she looks like an Fake Woman. How can these sites pretend to be for Real Women when everyone is air-brushed out of existence?
It's time I went to bed.

1 comment:

Tessa said...

I've been having what I call the "reverse nap" almost every night this week - presumably because of stress. The reverse nap is a night of sleep with a "nap" of 2-3 hours of wakefulness in the middle. Sort of like when the kids were babies but now there's nothing to do but just lie there and sigh.