I've Hardly Ever Won a Prize

I've been submitting photos to flickr's wardrobe remix since late last year. I can't honestly think why I originally decided to join the group, because there's a part of me that thinks it's a bit nutty & narcissistic. But join I did, with a vengeance.
Since that time it's become an almost daily ritual for me to pose & then post a daily photo. It's become so much a part of my life that I've got one of my students, The Wise Twin trained to take the photo at the end of her class each day. If I've taught her nothing else, she's learned how to take a good portrait.
But like most, if not all things in life, there's a Good Story & a Bad Story. The Good Story is that lots of wonderful people who I've never met look at my wardrobe on flickr & make incredibly kind & lovely comments about whatever I'm wearing that no one in their right mind would say in Real Life. Mr Middleaged might occasionally inquire, 'Dressing for cocktails at 9am again?' or Peter, the local cafe owner might raise his eyebrow & say 'Another THRIFTED outfit today I see', although how the hell would he know? That 's about it. But fellow 'remixers' as we're known, are always incredibly supportive, positive & observant.
The Bad Story is that there is this awful feeling of Competitiveness or Not Good Enoughness or Resentment that gets stirred up inside me at the end of every week when Tricia, 'The Wardrobe-Remixing-Mistress' announces the 'Remixers of the Week' on her blog. Every thursday, but it's friday for me down under, Tricia selects a handful of fabulous people who she thinks has the winning combination of great outfit, attitude & photography. I never Get Picked. And I can almost guarantee that I'll Never Get Picked. Ever.
At the end of the year, Tricia announces her monster, 'Remixers of the Year'. I went into a slight panic the other day when I thought about how I'm going to feel when I inevitably don't get picked in spite of the fact that I will by that time have submitted hundreds of photos in increasingly more complex outfits to the pool.
I'm so enjoying this Enormous Whine. I probably would not be able to Sound So Ungracious in Real Life, or if I did, those around me would quickly say, 'Oh, just Get Over It'. But I've Never gotten over anything in my entire life.
The only consolation I have is that the majority of people never win anything either. Most of us are condemned to sit in the Auditorium of Life enthusiastically clapping those Shiny Winners up the front while secretly Hating Their Guts!